Thursday, December 27, 2012


It all started in Senior Year High School English. My girlfriend was in my class and we were partners. Apparently that meant proof-reading her papers was part of my duty, too. I had no problem saying, "Oops, 'their' should be 'there'" and correcting other well-established grammatical theories. But one time I said that "Alot" isn't a word. And that's when alot of shit came my way!

I told her that, sure, when spoken, allot is a word. But of course it's a homophone for her non-word alot. That was just the sarcasm necessary for the issue to become world news. Thank God that Twitter didn't exist then! I got the examples and the proof that it really is a word. The literary examples that must have taken a zillion years to find (since Google didn't exist).

In the end, I cracked a few more jokes at Alot's expense. But I preferred the sex and let it go pretty swiftly. Anyway, we haven't spoken since 1994 when I kissed her on the lips at her wedding (to someone else). But I let stewing hatred for alot come back recently.

I asked Grammar Girl if she's as pissed off as I am about this non-word, and apparently I have some anger management problems to overcome. Regardless, don't risk me snapping at you. Alot is A lot of fun when used correctly.

Monday, July 18, 2011


Everyone uses LOL these days. Texting, Instant Messaging, Emailing, and it's even seeped into more mainstream writing. However, it took me a while to catch on to what LOLz means. Even over in the Oxford English Dictionary, I mean Urban Dictionary, there's quite a bit of disagreement. At the very least, we know it gives emphasis to the LOL if not making it entirely an exaggerated plural.

So yes, I do have a point. My co-worker just told me that his two teenage kids and all their friends in school actually speak LOLz. Like they read it and use it out loud. That is scary, my friends. I pressed him if the meaning was the same, and so far he told me that it seems to be a sarcastic form of the written LOLz. He's observed that these teens use it primarily in circumstances similar to when an 80's kid might have rolled their eyes at a dumb parent joke, for example. Picture it being used on Square Pegs! Hmmm.

Anyway, if you have any additional inside information on this new language development, let me know immediately. And thanks!