Monday, July 18, 2011


Everyone uses LOL these days. Texting, Instant Messaging, Emailing, and it's even seeped into more mainstream writing. However, it took me a while to catch on to what LOLz means. Even over in the Oxford English Dictionary, I mean Urban Dictionary, there's quite a bit of disagreement. At the very least, we know it gives emphasis to the LOL if not making it entirely an exaggerated plural.

So yes, I do have a point. My co-worker just told me that his two teenage kids and all their friends in school actually speak LOLz. Like they read it and use it out loud. That is scary, my friends. I pressed him if the meaning was the same, and so far he told me that it seems to be a sarcastic form of the written LOLz. He's observed that these teens use it primarily in circumstances similar to when an 80's kid might have rolled their eyes at a dumb parent joke, for example. Picture it being used on Square Pegs! Hmmm.

Anyway, if you have any additional inside information on this new language development, let me know immediately. And thanks!

Monday, July 11, 2011

O versus 0

This may surprise you. I have another super pet peeve. Why do people read the number zero like they are surprised? The letter O as in Open is a perfectly awesome letter. In fact, I use it every single day. O O O O see there I did it again. But saying "Oh" when you meant to say zero? What is that all about?

My credit card has a zero, my phone number has a zero, and neither have "Oh"s in them. Yes, I realize there is a similarity in shape, though Os are usually fatter than 0s, at least when typed. This has led to some companies to just scrap one or the other, like Coke does for their program codes. But that is an entirely different situation than what we're talking about.

So here's how I propose a group effort to end this nonsense. Every time you hear a Zero communicated as Oh, be sure to treat it as an unrecognizable error. "Sorry, Sir, but I am not able to find any data using that account number." "Ma'am, I can't seem to recognize the number you gave me. Did you say it was 1 2 Oh Oh Oh NW Grammar Street? Nope, you don't exist in our system." An army of people like that would end this terrible problem quickly.

As you can see, I am full of solutions, not just complaints. Don't forget that! And please knock it off! O and 0 are not the same and are not interchangeable!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Nom Nom Nom

People. I've made no effort to hide the fact that I really dislike the Nom Nom and Nom Nom Nom expressions and all similar ones. Why, you ask? OK. That's fair. Basically, I just think it sounds stupid! When people try to sound all hip and cool when they are writing about delicious food using this phrase, well, I personally cringe. Please let Nom Nom Nom go the way of Cabbage Patch Kids!

What? You've never seen people write Nom Nom to talk about a delicious little morsel they are nibbling on, so that you are made aware just how delicious it is? Check out this Urban Dictionary entry (yeah, I know, pretty impressive the definition writer's range, from using nerd-word onomatopoeia to churning out this sentence example):

Noms (228 thumbs up, 6 thumbs down): Food, especially when speaking "lolcat". It's based on the "nom nom nom" onomatopoeia for eating.

Sentence Example: "I iz hungrey, can haz noms?"

What, you ask, could be worse than seeing Nom Nom Nom on your favorite blogger's website or from a respected foodie's Twitter stream? Well, I did some soul searching to answer that question, and all I could come up with is... hold for it... if I actually heard someone using the expression, out loud in the presence of my ears. It would be bad enough talking to yourself, but for other people to have to endure that live might trigger some migraine-like head pains.

I did some research to find the culprit behind this expression's origin. Who could have been so short-sighted and selfish? Well my research turned up one main player, which consequentially established one exception to my hatred for the Nom Nom Nom phrase. Yeah, after all that, there is one. ONLY ONE! Only Cookie Monster can originally and effectively use his signature "Om nom nom nom" without sounding like he's trying to impress his peers. Let me show you an excellent video of the great Cookie Monster discussing this very topic with the cute and very sweet Ella. Enjoy and I hope I've inspired you in some way today.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

An Historic Can Go To Hell!

An Historic Can Go To Hell!

Yeah, that's right I said it. I was going to use Hispanic instead of Historic, but that wouldn't have gone over well.

This is probably one of those grammar cases where I have plenty of support but plenty of detractors, too. Lots of people on both sides of the fence. Doing research for this post, I was not trying to find evidence of one way being correct or not. I already know I'm correct. I merely needed a few examples from Wikipedia.

Here's the problem. What is with people using the article "an" before a non-silent H? The question is simple. Why? When I hear Alex Trebek read an answer on Jeopardy with "an historical" in it, that is an immediate channel changer. It could be the World Championships Double Jeopardy Extravaganza and oops, my ears are bleeding to that phrase. How's that for a Pet Peeve?

Now, I am not advocating that an hour, an heir, or an honorable grammar discussion are incorrect. Those H words have silent H's at the beginning and therefore deserve the "an" before them. However, it is pure laziness to not pronounce the H in Historic or Hypothesis or Hispanic when you use an indefinite article in front of it. Do you otherwise talk about your Ypothesis on Istoric buildings and the Ispanic population of Miami? I didn't think so!

So if you're trying to be snobby or speak all proper Queens's English and stuff (and you're not British), knock it off. You too, Alex! You're Canadian as I found out when I almost wrote you in for US President in my college years.

Finally, if you want to hear a funny "Hello" without the H, check out the little girl trying out her best British Accent in the Adam Sandler-Jennifer Aniston movie "Just Go With It". If you are not patient enough to watch a 33 second video, it's at 13 seconds.