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Thursday, December 27, 2012

Alot

It all started in Senior Year High School English. My girlfriend was in my class and we were partners. Apparently that meant proof-reading her papers was part of my duty, too. I had no problem saying, "Oops, 'their' should be 'there'" and correcting other well-established grammatical theories. But one time I said that "Alot" isn't a word. And that's when alot of shit came my way!

I told her that, sure, when spoken, allot is a word. But of course it's a homophone for her non-word alot. That was just the sarcasm necessary for the issue to become world news. Thank God that Twitter didn't exist then! I got the examples and the proof that it really is a word. The literary examples that must have taken a zillion years to find (since Google didn't exist).

In the end, I cracked a few more jokes at Alot's expense. But I preferred the sex and let it go pretty swiftly. Anyway, we haven't spoken since 1994 when I kissed her on the lips at her wedding (to someone else). But I let stewing hatred for alot come back recently.

I asked Grammar Girl if she's as pissed off as I am about this non-word, and apparently I have some anger management problems to overcome. Regardless, don't risk me snapping at you. Alot is A lot of fun when used correctly.